Read this upon a crisis
Hello there. You might be reading this because you are entering a crisis. You might be deep in one already, or you might be getting out of one. It doesn’t matter. If you are feeling sad, overwhelmed, anxious, and in a way in which the world doesn’t seem to make much sense, let me bring you some clarity. Most of this points you must already know, but they might seem cloudy or out of reach. That’s normal, just breathe.
Life has always been weird
One of life’s greatest delusions is the idea that it was somewhat simpler and more joyful in the “good ‘ol days”. That is nothing short of a myth, and one which when dispelled can bring lots of peace. Truth is, life has always been weird, hard, and difficult, but it has also always been joyful, interesting, and beautiful. These pose no contradiction, as life need not comply to a one-sided narrative, even if our minds and memories would like it to.
You are in the right place.
This point is very elegant and intuitive, yet so easy to miss, but realizing it will bring a lot of calm to your wandering mind. Whatever has happened, already happened, and whatever is happening is happening. There’s no way in which the current condition of life can be “wrong”—neither “right” for that matter—, it just is. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, embrace it, because there is no way in which you are doing anything else. Do you want to do something else? Do what you want to do. Are there intermediate steps? Do them too (or don’t). It need not be more complicated. In the end, all the fake realities in your head can feel just as real and relevant as the actual reality you’re living, but they are actually completely arbitrary and nothing beyond thoughts. See them for what they are, and be present in the reality you are living.
Most likely, tomorrow will be another day and it will go just fine.
It may very well be the case that you are actually not certain there will be a tomorrow, and for that I am sorry, but for the 99% of situations it is, remember that it is. Many end-of-the-road situations are nothing short of minor inconveniences upon removing whatever mind games you might be playing on yourself. Remember that, most likely, tomorrow you will wake up to fight another day, and so the day after that and the day after that. Also remember one day that will not be the case, and it will be okay. You will be okay, you just have to see it and choose it.
Most other people’s lives suck, too.
Lastly, it is important to remember that you have an asymmetric access to your life and your struggle and rough spots relative to other people’s. This is obvious, but also easy to forget. Probably other people—even those you admire—are just as sad and insecure as you are, they just don’t share it on their Instagram feed. There’s no way to fail nor pass at life, one can only live it.
Now let us touch upon some of the things you might want to consider and act upon to get out of this crisis best and most effectively.
Nurture the relationships in your life.
The most important infrastructure of your life is not the knowledge you gain, the wisdom you acquire, the experiences you build, but the people you meet and keep close to you. Nurture the people around you, be with them, talk to them; recharge their batteries and let them recharge yours. Your fulfillment and emotional health is a function of the amount of love you exchange with the people you love.
You owe yourself lots of love.
On that note, you are the most important person you know. Love you, connect with you, and understand what you feel and what you want. Lend yourself some compassion, and heal yourself through it. I don’t know you, and I don’t need to, but I can assure you that you have been through a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back, and give yourself some love. Hug yourself (really), and breathe the peace of knowing that the person most important in your world loves you, and will forever be with you.
Remind others how much you love them.
A strange paradox about love, is that the more you give the more you have and have to give. Loving others is much more joyful than being loved, but most of the times it will be reciprocated, just remember you’re not in the loving game looking for anything other than to love. Love is the purest expression of gratitude and admiration, but don’t let its importance and power fool you into treating love as a scarcity. Love everyone, and through that you’ll see how much love is left over for you.
Get some rest, do things you love, and do some exercise.
Finally, remember your mind is another organ of a body which must be healthy in general for all organs to be healthy. Treating and taking care of your mind is different than doing so for other parts of the body, true, but not fundamentally so. It is just work, and work that when you do leads to plenty of dividends. Be well rested, do things you love and that help you to be mindful—for this, mindless tasks work best—, and burn some calories. Even if you think you don’t have time, just know you do, for if you don’t have time for you, for whom do you?
